The cycle of abuse can be stopped, and the wounds can be healed. It will take some work and willingness to get honest, but the abused are always treatable. I cannot say the same about the abusers. There are some abusers for whom treatment is not effective, like narcissists and sociopaths. You may think that those types of abusers are only on TV, the movies, or in big cities. Sadly, they are all around us. We have posted many tips and resources on our Face Book page about recovery from abusive situations; however, if you are in an abusive situation—there is hope! Knowing you are not alone is a large part of the battle, refusing to allow yourself to isolate is another. Finding someone safe you can talk to who will encourage you is also important. There are a few other things that will help.
- Practice being honest with yourself, you must be honest with you before you can get honest with anyone else.
- Practice setting boundaries with others, knowing where you end and they begin. It is not our job to save the world.
- Begin to nurture yourself. We must take care of us if we want to have anything to give someone else.
- Give yourself permission to be you. Understand your feelings are valid, they matter, and it is important to work through them.
- Reach out to one person a day. Letting others (who are safe) know where you are at is important on many levels from physical safety to emotional sobriety.
- Do not stay stuck in your own head, the minute your mind begins to race, pick up the phone.
- Do you know how to tell your abuser is lying? They open their mouth. Begin to recognize the lies that they never back up with action.
- Have a safety plan for you and your children (and pets). The abuser does not care about anyone, do not stay in harm’s way.
- Obtain the numbers of the various agencies in your county that will help you if you have to leave abruptly.
- Know your rights, you do have rights and options, be aware of them.
If you are in an abusive relationship, whether physically, verbally, financially, emotionally, or all the above; call us or another professional counseling center for help. You can also call the crisis hotline at (814) 889-2141. You do not have to spend another day in hell, stopping the cycle of abuse begins by simply reaching out.
Yours In Service,